Thursday, 31 October 2013

Here's One I Wrote Earlier

Well hello there blog friends. My first assignment is now submitted and I'm eagerly awaiting feedback, although it could be two weeks until I hear anything. Some students have assignments waiting to come back to them at midnight tonight (the deadline for submission) while others will have to wait the full two weeks. It all depends on how busy their particular tutor is.

One of the first stories I ever wrote (apart from cub hood jottings) was for my GCSE which I re-sat back in 2008. The remit was to write a 1000 line story and as we had been studying the works of Poe, who really inspires me, I decided to write a story based on horror and suspense. Would you like to read it? It's quite apt considering it's Halloween; a.k.a. fright night. Enjoy.

Horror Hospital.

I walked along the hospital corridor, checking that all the doors that should be locked were locked. My large key ring full of old and partly rusted keys dangled from my waistband; their jangling was the only sound apart from the clip clip clip of my shoes on the old tiled floor. All ward doors were closed and the beds lay empty. The hospital had been closed for nearly 2 months now. Cost-cutting, the government called it. Sheer lunacy I called i, which was rather ironic considering this was the old mental hospital, ‘The Looney bin' as the locals called it. Urban legend dictated that one of the inmates had been sentenced to an indefinite stay for the murder of his whole family. No one was sure exactly how he had committed the crime but popular consensus was that it involved cannibalism. Rumours abounded that he had escaped from his secure cell when the guard carried out his final rounds late one night, and that although he had managed the planned escape, he was still hiding somewhere in the vast hospital grounds. Tales were told of how, when the hospital was still occupied, he camouflaged his presence during the day by hiding in the woods at the back of the hospital. Then, under cover of darkness he emerged to steal back into the hospital building. Once inside, wearing hospital porter's clothing and avoiding eye contact, he was able to sneak along the corridors and enter rooms at random, killing and eating the inmates within. This had earned him the title of ‘Eat Em Up Eddie'. It was said that he now lived off the corpses of animals that he managed to kill, and that he lay in wait for a fresh human victim to die on. The details of the popular story were embellished upon with each new telling. I laughed at them all.

It was my first night on guard. I had been employed by local security firm as a temp. I used to be a doorman at a popular nightclub on a Friday night, and didn't really relish the idea of being an overnight guard at a disused hospital; particularly one as large and lonely as this. It was not because of the rumours surrounding the hospital, simply that life as a doorman suited me better as I thought of myself as a people person, but a few vicious rumours about my conduct by girls with no identification and a score to settle had put paid to that job. I've learnt to resign myself to a life of walking endless eerily quiet corridors to earn my living, and what a pitiful living such a job provides. The only reason I had been employed to guard the old hospital was to discourage a spate of vandalism that had begun in the last month. It was thought that local youths with time on their hands were daring each other to smash windows in the hope of annoying' Eddie' and drawing him out of his hiding place. Although I felt some pity for the youths as there was nothing to do in the area, I was not going to allow them to lose me my job-especially after my misfortune with the nightclub job.

It was time to move on with my chores. I had spent far too long loitering along the corridor and needed to check that the old entrance doors were properly secured. I faltered as the lights dimmed, switched off completely, and then returned as full as before. I sniggered softly to myself that I had been momentarily scared, a man as big as I, standing 6'4" tall and as stocky as a prize bull. As I started off once again the lights fizzled, then popped. The corridor was as black as pitch. I rummaged around in my cavernous pockets. Where on earth was my torch? Suddenly I remembered leaving it in my black bag, back in the watchman's hut at the hospital entrance. I would have to feel my way down the corridor. It was nearly midnight and I still had several checks to do. I was not scared of the dark; but trying to find my way along unfamiliar long, lonely corridors was a trial I could do without.

Suddenly there was a loud crack and something skimmed swiftly past my ear. I lost my balance and fell to my knees. Fumbling furiously around on the floor I felt something small and hard; a stone! Those local boys! They had probably turned the power for the electric off, knowing I was inside, and had been plotting my progress in the hospital by the lights, ward by ward, corridor by corridor. They were probably daring each other to throw the stones, trying to scare me. Well it wouldn't work. I had dealt with worse than them before and I would show them the error of their ways. Scrabbling as quickly as I could to my feet, I felt for the wall with fumbling fingers and followed it along with my hands until I felt a wooden surface; a door-and a massive one at that. I knelt down to the keyhole and felt the cold night breeze on my face. I had to try several keys in the rusted old lock before it finally gave way, groaning open. I heard muffled giggles and whispering coming from the woods. I had to catch the boys quickly. As fast as lightning I tore over to the wooded area which was dimly lit by a half moon shining through the bare winter branches of the trees. The remainder of the moon was in shadow, hidden by the cloudy sky.

I saw a shadowy shape and grappled blindly for it. The shape yelped helplessly and fell to the floor; I fell flat on top of the fallen figure. The cloud lifted momentarily and I saw pure fear in eyes of a young boy, and oh how young he looked. I felt no mercy though; I had heard their whispered jibes about' Eddie'. An old rage came upon me, long forgotten yet familiar still. I took his arm, a fat, fleshy thing. I hesitated momentarily. But no! The old urge overcame me. I took a big bite of that arm, and another, and another. Hunger overtook me and I finished my meal with a voracious appetite. Contrary to popular belief, I, Eddie, had not had a human meal for many years now. The inmates had been too well cared for to get anywhere near them.

With a satisfied sigh I headed away from the shrill screams of the boys shouting for help. I would have to wait a while longer for my next tasty treat.

2008, copyright, The House of Bears.


  1. Great build up, and a fantastic turn around at the end... which I completely didn't see coming - that's brilliant! (I got the twist in The Sixth Sense from the moment Haley Joel Osment said "I see dead people"... so well done on pulling the wool over my eyes!)

    I'm pretty glad I didn't come across it on Halloween itself, when I was alone in the house... Hope your tutor's feedback on your assignment has gone okay...
    Alison xx

  2. Hello Wilbear,
    My name is Ajdin and I am also a bear - wow what a coincidence! I just started a blog recently, so I hope we can be friends. :D

  3. Well how could I, of all people not follow your blog! It made me smile the minute I saw it! :0)


comments and constructive criticism welcome, trolls will be fried and eaten for a bear's breakfast